Drunk Munchies No-Nos

Perhaps the best part of what comes before the drunk munchies are the reduced inhibitions. You tossed back a few drinks, and all of a sudden, you're on top of the world - no member of the opposite (or the same for those select people) is unattainable, no fight is unwinnable, and no tune is unsingable. Everything seems like a good idea - and these euphoric thoughts follow you to the drunk munchies stage.

But wait, stop right there. Even when it seems like nothing can go wrong, some things can. Just be sure to abide by the following guidelines, and you will avoid landing yourself in the ER, or worse, the premature buzz kill:

• Fruit scented shampoo/lotion/perfume smoothies are not a good idea, no matter how good it smells
• A "pizza race" (ordering a pizza from 5 delivery companies just to see who will get there first) will only have one loser with broken bones: YOU.
• Mint Mochas are not made by mixing coffee beans, water, a melted Hershey's bar, and toothpaste
• Jesting at drive through employees is not a good pre-meal entertainment if you actually want your meal - you wouldn't make fun of the dying patient about to give you a lung for your transplant, would you?
• Licking the sauces off your finger is ok. Mistaking it for a hotdog covered in sauces is not.
• Deep frying sticks of butter is a waste of time
• Spices make food taste better - not air. So do not eat spoonfuls on their own.
• Adding rocks to your food may produce a "special" crunch - but it's not the good kind of special.
• Licking a piece of cooked chicken tastes good. Licking a live one may give you a disease.

When it comes down to it, just use your common sense. And when in doubt, the general rule of thumb is "don't eat anything you haven't seen Steve-O eat"